Wednesday, February 1

Oh yeah.
It’s hard to be a parent.
It’s even harder to be a good parent.
or maybe it’s just hard to feel like a good parent.

Anyways, I took some time off of the computer.
I’d like to say, to be a better mom,
But really it was out of pure exhaustion.
I pretty much fall over in a coma when the littles finally fall asleep.

And my brain explodes during the day with ideas for creating.
They come nonstop. Filling my mind with possibility.
And then I fall over when they fall asleep.
 And I also know I'm here, for such a time as this.
runny noses and messy rooms and cranky kids.

And I have to remind myself that this too shall pass.
Art and paint and possibility will always be there.
But my babies won’t always be babies.
And it’s hard. It's really hard.
Because a.) it's just hard and
b.)I really, really want to paint.
I crave the creative.
I know you know what I mean?

But it’s just not possible right now.
Not not possible forever.
Just for right now.
What do you do?

Okay. That's where I'm at right now.
I'm also going to the doctor to see where
in the world my energy has gone.
I can't find it.


  1. I know what you mean. Not with the kids thing, but in living a dream-come-true, yet having my brain 'splode with things I want to create... and I think it's a reflection of the gazillions of thoughts God has for us--we're like our Dad in that way, that there's such life and creativity and hope and desire to see it all formed and come to pass, but somehow He lives every day with us and knows the time for fulfilling all of it... He is prolific. And I am waxing poetic on less sleep than usual, but I hope you get my drift ;-) Blessings to you! AND in the name of JESUS I declare a RESTORATION of ALL energy, ALL health, ALL life, as well as a deeper, fuller, truer, more vibrant expansion of experience of HOW. FLIPPIN. MUCH. YOU'RE. LOVED. RAWR! Yeah!

  2. this is lovely and timely. thank you, dear! xo

  3. I really love that first quote. Good reminder. I agree with you on the "it's hard" part. At least when they get bigger they can paint with you. :) That's what I do.

  4. I remember those days. My kids are still small, 4 and 6 but I remember and sometimes still experience that desire to create and then just being so tired when the chance came. It is hard, but you are right it won't be forever.