Monday, February 6, 2012

This Scarybravewonderful Life

Courage is a funny thing.
One day it's there.
The next, it disappears.


One thing I know is that I have to keep using it.  
every day. to live this scarybrave life.
like exercise, I'm never done.
I'll never get to the "there" place
when I can say
oh look. I used up all my courage.
and now I'm this new person.

No, it lives in big and small choices I make every single day.
And all of those baby steps glued together =
this scarybravewonderful life.
are you following me here?

Teaching art to grown ups was one of those
humongous scary mountains for me.
And one day last summer while Auntie Babe was here
I had this huge spurt of courage.
An "I can conquer the world and leap
tall buildings in a single bound" attitude.

So I filled out about 7 teaching applications for local venues
and sent them off.
Done.

Fast forward to fall.
I find out that my proposal for my mixed media angel class was accepted at
our community college's enrichment program.
Yay me!
oh sh*&.
what have I done?
Ummm, I was just kidding!
It was a joke.
Okay.
I can do this.
I think I can.
I think I can.
I think I can.

It's in February, which is forever away.
So no problem, right?
I'll be some kind of expert by then.

Fast forward to Saturday.
I was so nervous.
And I showed up with all of my stuff.
And it was fun.
so fun.
really fun.


I met 5 great women.
We sat around and chatted and made angels and
they were wonderful and full of grace for me.
I'm so thankful for each one of them.
Of course I took not one picture.
But I get to go back next Saturday.
And finish.

And I climbed my big, huge mountain.
And I made it.
baby steps.
every day.

What baby steps are you taking today?

Photobucket

8 comments:

  1. the baby step i took today {so i could take those bravescary BIG steps later} is i made myself out a daily routine. i need habits to form, then strung into a routine, so i can just go on autopilot and do what needs to be done. otherwise, i keep getting distracted. i realized that there was no way i was gonna get where i wanted to be a year from now unless i had structure. and i have nada at the moment. ah, the advantages/disadvantages of working for youself, right? :D

    and i so knew you were gonna do good. ;) :D xoxo

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  2. thanks so much for your sweet encouragement, paulette! i need to create a routine for us too. structure out of the chaos... not my strong suit. but I think you're right, once it becomes a habit, it's so much easier & so much more gets done. so tough to motivate myself!

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  3. I just found your blog, Erin, and I love it! I love your art and the way you use it to communicate God's love. I'm a new follower and I'm very happy to "meet" you!

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  4. That's lovely, Erin.

    My baby step today was to join my friends for coffee. I had stopped for a long time because ONE has been very unkind. Why should I separate myself from my REAL friends because of one person's unkind comments or acts?

    What's the saying - cutting off one's nose to spite one's face?

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  5. beautiful, erin. you've encouraged me! xo

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  6. just discovered your blog, love this post and your art. it's so true, courage is a tricky thing...for me it's a constant challenge to live in the day, and no worry about tomorrow, I think that takes courage and faith...

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  7. I am so proud of you Erin! (And I don't even know you! :) ...

    It's funny that when we see people doing things, we sometimes forget that they're just like us, with all of the fears and the doubts and the stops and starts ...

    It's beautiful that you shared this and I am so very happy for you! I used to give art classes to kids in my art studio and it was so fun and beautifully energizing (once I got past all of my initial I-gotta-do-it-perfectly-ing ;) ...

    I miss those days. Maybe you will inspire me to take a baby step back over in that direction. Thank you Erin!

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