Tuesday, January 29

Shameless Audacity

I've been thinking so much about these 2 words and what they mean.
What it means to be without shame. completely.
What it would feel like.

The funny thing is that's how God sees me.
Without my shame.
Without my sin.
Because of Jesus.

An I love the word audacity.
It's not just being brave.
It's more along the lines of,
"Did she just do that?"
"I can't believe she just did that."

I was talking to a friend about a month ago
and I asked him how his job was going and
was he doing what he really wanted to do
and what did he really want to do and he replied,

"It's fine, but what I really want to do is run an
 orphanage in Mexico and make art."

Oh wait. That changes my answer.
I didn't know I could want that.
I didn't know I could even dream that big.
In that case...

I want to teach art in Italy.
I want to travel overseas with the boys.
I want to have a little farm house with chickens.
I want to help start Young Life in San Marcos.
I want to organize Christian women's art retreats.
I want to teach part time forever and ever.
I want to write a book.
I want to use my art for good.
I want God to use my art for His glory
not just for this life.
for eternity.

I'm sure there are more...
but those are the things that came to mind.
And I can't help but feel guilty
because I love my life here and now.
I love my days with my boys.
Lately I have been keenly aware that these days spent together,
these are the sweet, sweet years that I'll look back on.

But I guess the word audacity makes me
feel like I have permission to dream.
It reminds me so much of one of my favorite quotes ever.
It's written for you too.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
Our deepest fear is that we are 
powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, 
not our darkness, 
that frightens us most. 

We ask ourselves, 
'Who am I to be brilliant, 
gorgeous, talented, and famous?' 

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. 
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. 

We were born to make manifest 
the glory of God that is within us. 

It's not just in some of us; 
it's in all of us. 

And when we let our own light shine, 
we unconsciously give other people 
permission to do the same. 

As we are liberated from our own fear, 
our presence automatically liberates others.

Maryanne Williamson

Who are you not to be your fabulous self that God made you?!?

What about you?
What are the secret dreams you have tucked away?
I give you permission to dream. with audacity.
You don't have to tell me, although I'd love it if you do.
But please, please tell someone. or at least write it down.
even if it feels silly or guilty.



  1. LOVE that quote. I've never seen it before, and it brought tears to my eyes. I'm all over the place lately, from audacious to insignificant to bold, then back to insignificant. Thanks for these words today.

  2. Thanks for this food for thought. It's the sort of thing I've been munching on...


  3. Wow, your words and your journal pages, are very inspiring! I am totally going to start journaling scripture. Thank you for shining!!