Tuesday, February 21

A whole bunch of random and a side of clutter

Catching Up...
Ahhhh. I have so much life to share
 art and small children and hopes and decluttering my life and being creative.

We are finally all healthy.
And my baby is finally sleeping. {crying.}
And I'm so deliriously tired that I'm
 {finally} perfectly okay with it.
I am sleeping and I feel like a new woman.
Like I can climb mountains and leap tall buildings.
Or at least walk upright without passing out.
My heart is full of thanks.
I feel like we're turning a corner
and I don't wanna get too excited,
but it's exciting.
In my art world I did something huge.
Okay, 2 huge somethings.
And the gremlins came out with a vengeance.
I was so nervous. I felt beyond inadequate.
And it was better than wonderful.
and I met these really, really great women.
like, people I would want to be friends with.
I was completely blessed by it.
And it was just another reminder
that when I walk through my fears
and climb my mountains
there are big rewards.
and of course I forgot my camera.

so my other big art dream mountain climbing news is this:
Artehouse prints gorgeous vintage posters and signs
on wood and sells them to retailers.
They contacted me about licensing my mixed media collage.
I'm serious. I'm not kidding. or lying.
I'm trying not to freak out or get too excited.
I'm holding my breathe and hoping that everything will work out.
 I signed a contract and sent them my images.
They are not up on the website yet,
but I will definitely let you know when they are.
{This is where I remind myself to breathe.}
On the homefront,
 being at home with 2 littles...
is getting better.
so much better.
I'm trying to schedule out our day & stick to it.
And work on fun projects.
This deserves a whole post.

Thanks for hanging in there with my constant "this is really hard" whining
I just kind of feel like I'd be lying if I said everything is all roses when life is simply hard.
And of course, there are blessings in the hard.
but all this to say, we're finding our way.
With a lot of prayer & help.
Things I love right now:

The first Pinterest project that I've actually really made from here.
It took about 15 minutes & has given about 15 hours of play time.
So fun.

I'm trying to live by this mantra.
Which explains the back of my car.
Now the challenge is delivering them to GoodWill
without bringing any more c$%p home.
Not easy.

Completely inspired by this post:
40 bags in 40 days
I'm gonna try it.
I think I can. I think I can.

This article from Jeff Goins about
Why My Clutter is Killing My Creativity

This post on marriage.
The post I've wanted to write for 2 years,
but haven't been able to.
She says it so well.
I have so many paintings in my heart and head
 I want to make about marriage.
No time right now, so I have to jot them
down in my sketch book.
I've been art journaling.
It's worth at least a million dollars in therapy.
seriously therapuetic.
And that's an entire post too.
I love Julie  and Tammy and Rachel
This is a great post for getting started.

Monday, February 6

This Scarybravewonderful Life

Courage is a funny thing.
One day it's there.
The next, it disappears.

One thing I know is that I have to keep using it.  
every day. to live this scarybrave life.
like exercise, I'm never done.
I'll never get to the "there" place
when I can say
oh look. I used up all my courage.
and now I'm this new person.

No, it lives in big and small choices I make every single day.
And all of those baby steps glued together =
this scarybravewonderful life.
are you following me here?

Teaching art to grown ups was one of those
humongous scary mountains for me.
And one day last summer while Auntie Babe was here
I had this huge spurt of courage.
An "I can conquer the world and leap
tall buildings in a single bound" attitude.

So I filled out about 7 teaching applications for local venues
and sent them off.

Fast forward to fall.
I find out that my proposal for my mixed media angel class was accepted at
our community college's enrichment program.
Yay me!
oh sh*&.
what have I done?
Ummm, I was just kidding!
It was a joke.
I can do this.
I think I can.
I think I can.
I think I can.

It's in February, which is forever away.
So no problem, right?
I'll be some kind of expert by then.

Fast forward to Saturday.
I was so nervous.
And I showed up with all of my stuff.
And it was fun.
so fun.
really fun.

I met 5 great women.
We sat around and chatted and made angels and
they were wonderful and full of grace for me.
I'm so thankful for each one of them.
Of course I took not one picture.
But I get to go back next Saturday.
And finish.

And I climbed my big, huge mountain.
And I made it.
baby steps.
every day.

What baby steps are you taking today?


Friday, February 3

Mixed Media Paper Mache Angels Class

Is that a long enough title?
I just wanted to fit it all in.

Join me in making  one of these sweet angels.
It's tomorrow!
2 Saturdays from 1-4
In Escondido, if you're local.
register through Palomar Venture

I'm scared beyond belief.
But I know it will be so worth it.
Please pray for me.
I don't think I'll sleep. tonight.
Oh, wait, I'm already not sleeping.

I'll let you know how it goes...
Happy Friday!


Wednesday, February 1

Oh yeah.
It’s hard to be a parent.
It’s even harder to be a good parent.
or maybe it’s just hard to feel like a good parent.

Anyways, I took some time off of the computer.
I’d like to say, to be a better mom,
But really it was out of pure exhaustion.
I pretty much fall over in a coma when the littles finally fall asleep.

And my brain explodes during the day with ideas for creating.
They come nonstop. Filling my mind with possibility.
And then I fall over when they fall asleep.
 And I also know I'm here, for such a time as this.
runny noses and messy rooms and cranky kids.

And I have to remind myself that this too shall pass.
Art and paint and possibility will always be there.
But my babies won’t always be babies.
And it’s hard. It's really hard.
Because a.) it's just hard and
b.)I really, really want to paint.
I crave the creative.
I know you know what I mean?

But it’s just not possible right now.
Not not possible forever.
Just for right now.
What do you do?

Okay. That's where I'm at right now.
I'm also going to the doctor to see where
in the world my energy has gone.
I can't find it.