Sunday, July 25

I'm starting to freak out.

it happens every year at this time.
but things are about to change.
drastically.
and i just need to be honest about it
for a little bit.

you see, i've worked part time
teaching kindergarten
ever since my son was born
two years ago.

going back to work
full time
5 days a week.
missing my baby
missing my art
feeling rushed
+ frazzled.
jumping into
the rat race.

don't get me wrong.
i love my job.
i was made for my job.
it makes me so happy.

but i'm anxious about the balance.
i'm anxious about the crazy scedules.
i'm anxious about being able to do it all.

i don't feel ready to say goodbye to my baby boy.
and i don't feel ready to say good bye to art.

i know it will all be okay.
i just feel anxious about it.
i need to take it
one day
at a time.

these verses have
always helped me do that.
find joy
and peace
each day.

5 comments:

  1. Sigh. I love, love, love your art. And I love, love, love, your transparency! I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious...but if it makes you feel any better, you're not alone. Thousands of mothers are probably having these thoughts right alongside you. I hope your transition goes smoothly!

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  2. I went through this same thing. I taught part-time, Pre-K when my two children were little, but then I had to make the jump as they got a little older...it is hard at first, but you WILL adjust...and find a new schedule...and all will fall into place...I am thinking of you and sending a prayer for peace! One day at a time...♥

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  3. i recognize some finger paintings, don't i?

    i love your reliance on the words of god. your art is such a reflection of your heart. i do love your art and your heart!

    and i'm sorry you have to return to work. i am. life as a mom is such a juggling act, but i know you will ease back into and remember the things that you truly love about your job.

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  4. As moms, we are always being pulled in many different directions and it's always a challenge, but I'm finding that when things change, despite our resistance, we really are resillient. A new plan always comes into play and we find ways to do the things we really must do. Like be good moms to our babies and find time to paint. Not doing those things, would be like saying that we don't have time to breathe. You WILL find a way and it will be OK.

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  5. OOoh I remember the anxiety of returning to work after I had my babies all too well. I seemed to suffer much more then they did though! Life for a Mum is a constant juggling act and it is hard to fit everything in but you will - some things will have to take a bit of a back seat for a while, that's all. Some of my best art has come out of times when I have been busy, stressed and trying to do too much. Good luck with your future challenges and I hope you still find some time for art :-) Kate

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