7 days until artfest.

7 days until artfest in Port Townsend, Washington
I feel like this could be life changing. really.

This is a gift from the Lord.
I see this picture of God's giant hands reaching
down with this humongous gift for me.
My name is on it.
He just really knows what I need.
what my soul is thirsty for.
and he provides for me.
He says,
"Here Erin."
Go.
Have fun.
Live life.
Shine, like I created you to do.

So, my dear friend Kristi hounded me to go to this women's retreat for forever
and I was skeptical. I gave her the wholoe gamut of reasons why I couldn't.
and finally I gave in and went.
and, of course, it was exactly what I needed.
once again...

something hit me this weekend.
hard.
the speaker talked about eve.
doubting God's goodness.
his faithfulness.
like God was holding out on her.
like he was keeping all these good things from her.
so she had to go grab them herself.
And I felt like she was talking about me.

The Parable of the Talents: It's not about me

The Parable of the Talents
Matthew 25 (For the whole story see yesterday's post)



It's amazing to me that I've read and reread the book of Matthew and I've just kind of skipped over this parable...
just floated through it.

and now,
21 years into my faith,
the Lord is opening my eyes to things
I've never seen before...

I'm reading
and rereading
and rereading
these words,
this love letter written for me,
and coming to know my Lord in a different way...

Walking into a new understanding
of my createdness
of my creativeness
and the gift
the grace
that it is.

While I was walking today I realized something about the "talents" or "gifts" we are given. It seems so obvious that it's almost embarrassing, but here is today's epiphany...

Guess what... are you ready...

It's not about me.

No, I'm not kidding.
Yes, I'm still learning this.
How long has God been trying to hammer this into my head?

Let me explain.
It just dawned on me
the gifts that the Lord gives us
our creativity
our talents
aren't for us at all.
the point of a gift is to give it away.
the point of being entrusted with a gift
is for us to give it away
(more on the whole trust word tomorrow,
because that'sa whole nother aspect of this story.

My point is,
my creativity and my art is not for me.
yes, it brings me joy.
yes, it makes me feel like I'm flying.
yes, it gives me eternal glimpses of my creator.
yes, it does so many things that I can't begin to put into words,

but it's not for me.
It's for God's glory.

I just need to get out of the way.
and enjoy the ride.

The Parable of the Talents: Giving our Gifts

Creativity is God's gift to us. Our use of it is our gift back to God. We are intended to be creative."
Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way



This year I resolve... to make time and room for God. for creativity. for health: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual...

As I listen more and more to the creative voice inside of me,
I can't help but come back to the parable of the talents
again and again.
and again and again.

there is so much to learn here.
(the whole parable from Matthew 25 is told below)


God has entrusted
(I love the word entrusted)
He has entrusted every single one of us
his creation
with these gifts
straight from his heart
to ours.

and they're different,
our gifts,
but we all have them.

And for some reason,
rather than believe my creator
I have believed this lie for so long:
That to celebrate and explore this
precious gift is somehow
frivolous or
selfish or
wasteful or
silly

but look what the Lord calls those who use their talents:
good and faithful servants.

my epiphany:
to not use this creative gift,
to not give time
and attention
and energy
to what he has given to me

is to hide this precious gift I've been given
out of fear.

how long will I let fear keep these gifts hidden?
when will I step out in faith to really explore, discover, and celebrate these gifts to find out what the Lord has in store for me?
"exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that I can ask or imagine"

What gifts have you have been entrusted to gift others with?


The Parable of the Talents
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

Thoughts on HOME...

“Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”
Matsuo Basho



As I'm madly getting ready for my 2nd Street Fair and trying not to completely neglect my family and get some amount of sleep... I'm so caught up and inspired by the possibilities of so many ideas...

Home is the idea that I keep coming back to...
Because I've been home full time, spending time with my 14 month old (my kindergarteners are on a 2 week vacation)I've been thinking about being intentional about what kind of home I want to create for my husband & my baby & myself & my friends & family...

I'm so thankful for our physical home. It's a gift from God. I really never expected or thought we would get a real home, here in Southern California, and it is a definite financial stretch, to say the least, but it really is a dream come true... it's where we want to be, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We've been here for a little over a year and it so feels like home to us. But even more than the paint & wood & pictures on the wall...

As I explore this idea of home I can't help but think...
What kind of home do I want to create?

love... but really, I mean what does that mean? what does that look like?
acceptance
patience
adventure
joy
faithfulness
prayer
peace
wisdom
generousity
communication
authenticity
belonging
contribution
laughter
stability
silliness
possibility
uniquely us
hot coffee & chocolate chip cookies
hand made stuffs
photos everywhere

We get to make our home whatever we want it to be...or at least try to make it what we want it to be...
Our own little nest.
Our place of possibility.
Our sanctuary from the world.
Our place of love & acceptance.
Our place of connection where we are intimately known & celebrated.

Really, anything is possible... we are the makers of our home... with a lot of wisdom and patience and help from Jesus...

I'm off to create... I'll be back very soon...

Backgrounds & Beginnings...

Today I remember why creating stuff is a nessecity to life, like bread and water, not a pedicure (as my friend Ginger would put it. She has such a great way of putting things). Painting and creating breathe life into my soul and my mind. Creating just makes me feel so... hopeful and full of possibility, like I am doing what I was created to do. It makes me feel so... at home.

That's the kind of day I had today. Kind of like when my kindergarten girls dress up as fairy princesses, and there is no doubt in their mind that they actually are fairy princesses. that's what I feel when I create. Like a fairy princess.

So, I had two whole hours to be creative this afternoon and here's what I did: backgrounds for new collages. I plop the paint out directly on the canvas to start my background. I use at least two colors and blend them together. I love to see how the paints mix together on the canvas. I'm also enjoying "blending" the paint with a squashed up paper towel, so that the colors don't blend together so much.

"Come home, come home, all who are weary come home..." I listened to Sara Groves "Jesus Calling" as I painted and no matter where my mind wanders... it keeps coming backto explorethis idea of "Home"...