Just Make Art ...

One of my many goals this year. 

Like I said I my last post, 

last year was exhausting.

Beautiful and wonderful and exhausting.

I guess that's what I want life to be, right?

I've been thinking about my word for this year. 

And I'm still undecided. It's tough to commit to just one.

The first year I picked one, it just came to me: acceptance.

The second year: clear as day: surrender.

Last year, I was too overwhelmed to even pick one.

But this year I feel ready.

Ready to choose. Ready to move. 

I picked up this little calligraphy pen on a whim at Michaels.

Oh my. I'm in love.

It's so fun to write with. 

Makes me feel fancy.

I've been practicing.

Writing down all of the possible words I can think of.

Tonight: 

The Creative Book Club Girls come over 

and we work on our words together. 

Hallelujah! I love  these girls. 

Today: 

Go to the park.

Mountains of laundry.

Shots for the boys.

{With my best-mom-in-the-world.}

Thank you mom.

Now, let's go get 'em.

Break.

Bella

I just read this post from one of my favorite blogging friends in the world and it made me smile... as her stuff always does.
Ginger at wiener dog tricks...
i realize that i often like the romantic notion of things more than the reality.

Case in point: our beagle.
i wanted a dog so, so, so bad.
i wanted the idea of a dog.
but the reality of a dog.
different story.
the poop in the yard.
the dog hair in my fridge.
the brand new expensive things that look like chewed up hell two days later.
worst of all, the great big sad pleading puppy dog eyes begging for attention that i just didn't have to give. i just didn't have anything left.

she really was the most adorable dog I think I've ever seen. but too much.
so we both had a good, hard weekend of tears and found her a good home.

my whole point is, now i ask myself...
is the reality that i want, or the fantasy?

because the blogs i love the very most are the ones that don't make me feel small or big, but the ones that make me feel known. and that requires some vulnerablitly and some failures, which take courage, and being okay with that.

Brene Brown at ordinary courage has some great things to say about this too...
that's all...

My Dream Come True!

I have some really exciting news for you.
well, actually, it's for me.
exciting news for me.
Life changing.
Before you read any further, think about the best email you could possibly get.
I got it:

Hey Erin. I just received an email from yet another person who cannot come and is gifting her registration to a lucky recipient. Thank goodness I went through and chose the top 3 winners and kept the emails. You were number 2 so I am happy to say you can come for free. SO...you need to pick some classes.

Who is it from?!?
Teesha freakin' Moore.
The art journal goddess Teesha Moore.
http://www.teeshaslandofodd.com/1/temp.html
ya. that teesha moore.

so, my first thought was...
I'm going.
my second thought was...
I can't leave my 18 month old booboohead for that long.
my third thought was...
I can't even afford to buy a new covergirlmascara, let alone a plane ticket...
my fourth thought was...
I'm going.

and guess what?
I'm going.

Port Townsend, Washington
March 24-29
Yippee-kay-yay.

New Journal Pages...

I'm blocked right now. paralyzed. lethargic. Finding it hard to make myself finish this journal. or even work on it. reading the artist's way and she talks about needing to be able to make bad art and I think sometimes that fear just paralyzes me... or is it fatigue? the plan is to stay up tonight and make some progress... I'll let you know how it goes...

Valentine's Day Sweetness

Okay, that's not fair. January just flew by... where did it go... I have no idea. And now Valentine's Day is upon us. And I love Valentine's Day. Love it. let me explain... I teach kindergarten! And what is thehappiest day in school besides Halloween? Valentine's Day.

It is the sweetest cutest thing because you forget that the kids have never done this before. In their whole life. So they write every student's name on a Valentine (a humongous feat for a kinder) and then they put on their little mailman hats and deliver them to each other. And when they get this huge pile of love notes, they really can't believe it. They are beside themselves. Elisa says, (gasp) "It has my name on it! It's from Shannon. Mrs. B., Shannon gave my a Valentine!!!!" That x 20. So sweet.

May you surprise the people you love with Valentine's today.

One of my favorite things in life...

stuff i want to do

So, one of my favorite things in life is my creative women's nonbookclub, just a club... we started off with a book and then dropped the book and kept the food, wine, creative projects, & lots of laughter...

This was our latest project from our sweet visitor Kelley over at Fogarty Ranch...
http://fogartyfam.blogspot.com/
She posted hers too. super easy. really fun to make & share with each other. it was cool to see how different our all were.

So here are the rules & instructions to create with your own nonbookclub:
1.)Pick a word for the year. A word you want to focus on. Mine is acceptance. I need it all the way around.
2.)Watercolor fun designs on cardstock.
3.)Write down fun stuff you'd like to do this year.
Key word is fun.
fun.
No beating yourself up, "I suck" stuff.
Okay. I admit. I kinda broke the rules with lose weight & spend less money, ut I just felt like I had to get those down before I could do the fun stuff.

Anyway, fun to do. fun to share. I'll let you knowabout my progress...
if you get around to making one in any form, please share yours...

Awkward Moments...

I love this picture. Here is a classic awkward/annoyed look from a coffee-drinker as I try to take photos of my work in the Pannikin. I'm going to try again tomorrow... and be brave and just take pics & really annoy people...

Making My First Art Journal

I'm making my first art journal ever.
so fun.
so free.
no rules.
I don't even have to show anyone...
it's all mine.

equally as fun and inspiring fun, is to peek into the journals of so many talented artists/bloggers/friends and see their hearts and style and talent poured out on paper.

I'm still feeling wiped out by the holidays. really feeling the january blahs. so hardto give myself a swift kick in the pants...and I'm wondering if I'll ever find balance... or is this ebb and flow just a part of life.

I get so caught up in a my art and paint and paper... that I exhaust myself and my family and relationships and responsibilities suffer... laundry threatens to eat us alive...

I need
to stop.
and sit.
and be.

I know this.
I already know this in my brain.
why is it so hard to do?
every day.

even now,
at 2:30 in the morning.
i just want to go
and go.
and go.
and do.

my goal.
my hope.
my focus
is to be.
that's it.

to sit
and receive
and get filled up.
so that i have something to give
the people I love.

I went back to Oswald Chambers in My Utmost today.
It made me so happy.
Such wisdom and truth:

January 21st:
Am I as spontaneously kind to God as I used to be,
or am I only expecting God to be kind to me?
...There is no joy in the soul that has forgotten what God prizes.

Off to journal...

A year of trying stuff on...

Here is one of my latest. I just got it back from the printer & I love the way all of the prints turned out. I always do. The detail is really amazing. You can really see the layers of paper and paint... Thank you Jim!

I also just got my first wholesale order of cards for the giftshop at Sharp Mesa Vista Hospital, which is a whole nother thing I need to learn how to do... but I'm really excited to try out the world of wholesale and see if it's a good fit for me.

Last year was a big year for me.
A lot of trying on,
seeing what fits,
seeing what makes my butt look enormous,
seeing what makes my heart leap.

A review of 2009:
*March
My work was in a show at Park Cities Presbyterian Church in Dallas. It sold. So fun. So encouraging.
*April
My work was in Art Show at the Dog Show in Kansas. 3 of my favorite collages I've done.
*April
Showed my work in Honey's cafe for the 2nd time.
*June
Started my blog! Entered an incredible community of mixed media artists & friends. Total encouragement & learning...
*August:
1st outdoor show: Carlsbad's Art Walk. Didn't sell anything, but learned a lot.
*October:
2nd outdoor show: Carlsbad Street Fair. I actually made some sales.
So fun, so encouraging.
*December:
20 sales on Etsy.
Joined the Melange on etsy team. super encouraging.

Where to go from here?
There are so many things I want to do in this new year,
but most of all I want to continue to try things on,
to see what fits,
to grow up and become who I really am,
to find out what I was created for...
what an adventure is this life we've been given.
a pure gift.

So what is it that makes your heart leap? Let me know...

Believe in the Beauty of Your Dreams

I love this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. The baby boy is at grandma's house and I am madly trying to get all of the details wrapped up to hang new work in the Pannikin in Encinitas & Del Mar. I'll take lots of pictures & get back to you.

Thoughts on Ghandi...

I just finished this piece. I have loved Ghandi ever since I saw the movie in my world civilizations class with Mr. Heflin in 9th grade. It changed my life.

I have thought about him often, through different seasons of my life. One little man with courage and tenacity changed the world. peacefully. wow.

truth is so much more intriguing than any fiction one could invent.
so here it is...

my resolution is a long list of ways to be a better me. the
mom
wife
friend
teacher
artist
daughter
housekeeper
neighbor
fill-in-the-blank here

that I want to be.

it is probably the same list I had last year and probably the same list I'll have next year.

this year I want to go a little easier on myself and others. to find joy in acceptance. to take time for important stuff. and to remember these words. i want to be the change that i want to see in my world.

Today...

Growing up my grandfather had a wooden plaque on the side of his kitchen cabinet with this saying on it. I would always ask him what it meant and he would read it to me again and again. I would say, "No, what does it really mean?!? Really?"

Now I love this saying and thought it was appropriate for the new year. Wishing you many blessings in therest of yoru life today...

Melange Challenge: Illuminating

See other Illuminating works from the Melange Team here.

Let me start by saying that I have been so...
blessed
inspired
encouraged
by the online community,
this family of sisters
that I have found in the blogging world
this last year.

creating can be so isolating,
which is one thing I love about it,
but lonely at the same time...

but to create alone
and then come and share it with dear friends
who are all creating along with me...
it is a gift.
a blessing.
shared life.
so much more fun.

and to connect with people
on a completely different level.
a level that even my dearest friends don't get.

to chat with people who are excited
to discuss their favorite gel mediums...
my dream come true.

All this to say thank you
thank you to my online sisters this year
for sharing

your creativity
your encouragement
your struggles
your lives
your faith
your heart
your very selves.

It is a gift to me and I am blessed.

The Parable of the Talents: It's not about me

The Parable of the Talents
Matthew 25 (For the whole story see yesterday's post)



It's amazing to me that I've read and reread the book of Matthew and I've just kind of skipped over this parable...
just floated through it.

and now,
21 years into my faith,
the Lord is opening my eyes to things
I've never seen before...

I'm reading
and rereading
and rereading
these words,
this love letter written for me,
and coming to know my Lord in a different way...

Walking into a new understanding
of my createdness
of my creativeness
and the gift
the grace
that it is.

While I was walking today I realized something about the "talents" or "gifts" we are given. It seems so obvious that it's almost embarrassing, but here is today's epiphany...

Guess what... are you ready...

It's not about me.

No, I'm not kidding.
Yes, I'm still learning this.
How long has God been trying to hammer this into my head?

Let me explain.
It just dawned on me
the gifts that the Lord gives us
our creativity
our talents
aren't for us at all.
the point of a gift is to give it away.
the point of being entrusted with a gift
is for us to give it away
(more on the whole trust word tomorrow,
because that'sa whole nother aspect of this story.

My point is,
my creativity and my art is not for me.
yes, it brings me joy.
yes, it makes me feel like I'm flying.
yes, it gives me eternal glimpses of my creator.
yes, it does so many things that I can't begin to put into words,

but it's not for me.
It's for God's glory.

I just need to get out of the way.
and enjoy the ride.

The Parable of the Talents: Giving our Gifts

Creativity is God's gift to us. Our use of it is our gift back to God. We are intended to be creative."
Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way



This year I resolve... to make time and room for God. for creativity. for health: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual...

As I listen more and more to the creative voice inside of me,
I can't help but come back to the parable of the talents
again and again.
and again and again.

there is so much to learn here.
(the whole parable from Matthew 25 is told below)


God has entrusted
(I love the word entrusted)
He has entrusted every single one of us
his creation
with these gifts
straight from his heart
to ours.

and they're different,
our gifts,
but we all have them.

And for some reason,
rather than believe my creator
I have believed this lie for so long:
That to celebrate and explore this
precious gift is somehow
frivolous or
selfish or
wasteful or
silly

but look what the Lord calls those who use their talents:
good and faithful servants.

my epiphany:
to not use this creative gift,
to not give time
and attention
and energy
to what he has given to me

is to hide this precious gift I've been given
out of fear.

how long will I let fear keep these gifts hidden?
when will I step out in faith to really explore, discover, and celebrate these gifts to find out what the Lord has in store for me?
"exceedingly, abundantly beyond all that I can ask or imagine"

What gifts have you have been entrusted to gift others with?


The Parable of the Talents
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

Enough typing... just create something already! sheesh.

Have you ever noticed that blogging begets blogging begets more blogging? Kind of like creating and painting and praying? I put it off until I have "time" and then once I do, the floodgates open up and I just want to sit here and blog all night, especially the amazing inspiration and ideas and connections in so many other wonderful blogs... I have like 17 blog ideas creeping around my head right now... but sheesh. The husband & baby are in bed & it's time for me to stop tyoing and just create something already...

Christmas gifts are about to be made... at any moment. Really. I mean it. If I don't fall asleep I'm gonna make some serious art tonight.

My creative mind has been flooded with ideas lately and I haven't found a spare minute to play, so tonight is the night... coffee is brewed. Thursday night TV is over. I'll let you know how it goes...

Oh, just picked these up form the printer today: little boy transportaion prints. So fun. I really love my printer (Jim at Andersen's in Encinitas). I'm always surprised by the color and quality he captures. Getting more prints is like Christmas... so fun...

Back to where I began...

I started painting again, after an 11 year hiatus, about a year and a half ago and I feel like I've been set free. Let me explain.

I've always had a needto be creativein college I took classes and painted for fun and I always imagined that, as a teacher, I would have hours and hours of free time to paint to my heart's content... as you can imagine... I never painted again until

a year and a half ago. I was eight months pregnant and looking for artwork for our baby boy's nursery on a super tight budget. I couldn't find anything. anything.I wanted cute. inspiring.

so finally, after looking around, I said, "Really? I can make something for this baby."

So I started painting and I literally have not stopped. I felt so free + at home. so comfortable, so me. It just felt so right to be painting again that I kept on painting and painting and painting. i started painting for friend's kids and then for myself. So here are just a few of the children's paintings I've been working on. I have about 1,000 more ideas in my head, but so little time!

I would choose time.

Has it really been a week since I blogged? Time flies... Well, I've been feverishly, once again, getting ready for the Encinitas Street Fair. My mind is going to explode with ideas for paintings... It's like one painting gives birth to 10 more and pretty soon I have 103 little infant ideas floating around in my head... with extremely limited time to get them out on canvas.;

It just stinks that we have to sleep. If only we didn't have to sleep! Just think of the time we would have on our hands.

I so often forget that I am human and procrastinate until the night before and figure... I can just stay up all night. And then my 7th cup of coffee hits at about 3:00 AM and I realize, "Dang. I'm not superwoman? I totally forgot." and I promise myself to remember, but I don't. I forget. again and again...kind of like after Thanksgiving..."I'm never, ever eating this much again..."

It all boils down to time and money. To get money, you have to sacrifice time. To get time you have to sacrifice money. And the older I get the more I realize just how very precious time is. Money comes & goes, but unfortunately I need it to eat and buy new socks and take a shower...

But had I a choice to make I would choose time. Over and over again, I would choose time.

I'm off to paint at 2:15 in the morning, with only 2 cups of coffee in my belly and a brain overflowing with ideas... Just call me Superwoman, but please don't ask me how I'll get up with my baby in the morning. Thank the good Lord for Sesame Street!

More flowers...

I'm kind of stuck on painting flowers these days... Here are some more... I feel like I should move on, but they are so much fun to paint that I think I might just have to stay here for a while. Hmmmmmmmm... we'll see...

A finished home...

I finally finished my home series. I started so long ago and the street fair made me finally dfinish. I don'tknow why it's so tough to finish. maybe because it's so... final. Does anyone else have that problem?

Here are the final homes I created...