God-sized plans for me and you

It’s so true.

Noah, Mary, Paul.

They were real people.

With real dreams.

And I’m sure their dreams didn’t include:

Building an ark.

Giving birth to God.

Leading Gentiles to faith in Jesus.

But God had bigger plans for them.

God had God-sized plans for them.

My dreams and prayers are usually along the lines of:

Give me sleep. Please.

Help us pay our bills.

Make art.

Keep us safe.

Keep us healthy.

Teach me how to be married.

Teach me how to be a good momma.

And when I’m really dreaming big:

Please give us a long vacation.

And a 3 car garage.

Oh, and help me read my Bible.

I don’t know,

but I think God might have bigger plans.

God-sized plans for me.

And for you, too.

Now to Him who is able to do

exceedingly abundantly

above all that we ask or think,

according to the power that works in us,

Ephesians 3:20

Sunday Inspiration: Life and Peace

We've been doing a lot of living and a teeny tiny bit of sleeping over here.

I have a really, really tough time finding time during the day to sit down and read my Bible.

But I just figured this out.

I can listen to the Bible on BibleGateway

I can listen while I paint, while I cook,

while clean up 100 million little toys around the house.

And while it doesn't replace sitting down and being still,

it still gives me good input.

It retrains my thoughts.

And as I am learning,

my thoughts determine my life.

My thoughts either make or break my day.

And days equals weeks and months and years and a lifetime.

And if I'm not filling up my thoughts on the truth of what God says about me,

then, by default, I'm filling up on what the world says about me.

And it gets ugly.

So I've been loving Romans 8.

I've read it 100 times but never like this:

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

STOP! Stop condemning and comparing myself.

There is no  condemnation. That is not of God. That's a lie.

2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life

has set you free from the law of sin and death.

only the Holy Spirit can give me life and set me free.

That's it.

3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,
God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.
And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement
of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh

but according to the Spirit.

Stop! I can't do this on my own. 

I can't will myself to be good enough, or kind enough, or clean enough.

I'm powerless. Stop trying so hard. God has already done it.

I just need to ask the holy spirit for help to come

& do it for me, through me, every single day.

So I can live by the spirit, and not by my flesh.

5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires;

but those who live in accordance with the Spirit

have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but

the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Life and peace.

That's what I want. That's what I need.

I keep praying for the peace that surpasses all understanding

and trying to get it in my own strength.

But I can't do it. I don't even know "what the spirit desires".

I need his holy spirit in me to give me life and peace

and to set my mind on what it desires.

So, that's where I'm at today.

With help from a really great counselor.

 Happy Sunday bloggy friends.

May you be filled with

life and peace today.

Trusting God

I've felt overwhelmed for the past months

and I've blamed it on having a baby and going back to work,

which has all contributed, but, it's more than that.

A while back I wrote this post about feeling like

 I really needed to be home with my boys, being their momma,

and ever since then I've been planning and controlling and scheming

ways to get to stay home with them, to work part time,

 to share a teaching contract, for the next 30 years.

And not have to work full time.

But I've also been  freaking out about it on the inside.

freaking out to the point of paralysis

so full of fear about my tomorrows that I can't even enjoy my todays.

Staying up late night trying to figure out how I can make this work,

after all, I'm a pull-yourself-by-your-bootstraps-and-make-it-happen kind of girl.

and I realized that I've been holding this thing so close to my
heart with clenched fists, afraid to give it to God.
{um, no thanks, I can figure this out on my own.}

and I just realized that my fear is me not trusting God.

Not trusting that He is good.
Not trusting that He is in control.
Not trusting that he is for me,
on my side.

and in my brain, I know the truth.

I know that God is good.
I know that He is in control.
I know that he is for me.
I know that he is on my side.
even if I don't get my way all of time.
all of these things remain true.

but I need to surrender this idol to Him.

to bring it to his feet and trust in my heart what I know in my head to be true.
This book is speaking so much truth into my life. 

It's such an encouragement.
I reminder of the truth of who God is.

...we learn to trust God in the midst of our pain, whatever form it may take.
 It doesn't matter whether our pain is trivial or traumatic, temporary or interminable.
Regardless of the nature of the circumstances,
we must learn to trust God if we would glorify God in them.

And what struck me is that trusting God is a learned behavior.

It's not natural. It's something I can get better at. But not by myself.
Learning things takes practice. Daily practice. over and over again.

And so there's hope as I practice placing my trust in God every single day.

and believeing in my heart what I know in my head to be true:

God is good. God is in control. God is for me.

Absolutely nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.

Not even myself.

 What, then, shall we say in response to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—
how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Romans 8:31-32

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
 neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39

Today:
We returned home from our beach vacation & collapsed.

Now we're doing all of the coming home work of unpacking &
 laundry & settling back in to life.

I love going away, but even more than that, I love coming home.